Tyrasaur Dinobanks

I thought they were extinct

Current mood: jolly

I used to study them in school. They told us they were extinct. But watching the television the other night, I realized that I may be onto a rare find.

I was studying this creature on tv. Let me describe it to you. It was over 20 feet tall, an aggressive flesh eater and had a pea sized brain. It walked upright and had a large mouth full of teeth. I couldn't believe my eyes...it really was a Tyrasaur! The long lost relative of the T-Rex. Do not "Bang the Gong"! We can't alert her to our prescence. She is aggressive, hungry and a fool unto herself. They try to keep her on stage at the studio. The stage lights seem to keep her relatively pacified and confused. Tyrasaur DinoBanks. Fierce and stupid. I'd say she was born for congress. She didn't just let out her inner-fierceness, she opened the entire flood gates of her inner moron.

I know I said this before, but I am so glad to have turned down an offer to appear on her daytime show. If I'm going to be ambushed, I'd prefer it not be by stupidity. Besides, they wouldn't let me take a bazooka on the show, and how in the hell else are you supposed to defend yourself against an angry, intellectually challenged, hungry, self-righteous Tyrasaur? You cannot reason with a Tyrasaur that smells blood!

Where in the fuck is Race Bannon when I need him?! It's hard to fight Tyra and her video editors by yourself... and they love trying to ambush unsuspecting pornstars, or as I call them, actors that specialize in Love Scenes.

Tyra, You are not the Queen of everything or the Boss of Me. Oprah is still the Queen. Queen Oprah. Your brother the "King of Pop", went all Van Gogh on us, cut off his nose and had his doctor try to put him into suspended animation. Everybody thinks it was murder or accidental, I think it was just a Disney inspired scientific experimentation gone wrong. Kids, do not inject Fruit Loops directly into your veins!


So did you get that Tyra? You're not the Queen, unless you include mean. I would be willing to grant you the title, "Queen of Mean". So we have Tyrasaur, "Queen of Mean", Queen Oprah, queen of the known universe, MJ, The King of Pop, and President Obama, the President. I am definitely starting to think we are getting this racism thing turned around. Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!! What's gonna happen next? A hispanic woman as a Supreme Court Judge?

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph". That's an exclamation that I understand older Catholics use. I know someone who uses that exclamation and is considering using it for the name of his Folk music trio. You should check them out...they have a real edgy version of Kum-ba-ya. A twenty foot Tyrasaur posing as a high fashion model deserves a good "Jesus, Mary and Joe!" dontcha' think? I just brought that phrase into the new century by shortening it to just Joe. You're welcome.

That's what was going through my mind when I woke up a little while ago...Tyrasaur.

This Just in...Tyrasaur Wrecks stage in Los Angeles! Tyrasaur Wrecks...like T-Rex... did you get that one? Watch out Sarah Silverman...this is your last warning...have sex with me or I'm going into comedy. Naturally being a "pornstar" I'd prefer to do Lay-down comedy instead of Stand-up.

©India Summer