Sinking Santa

Sinking Santa

So just as I was feeling all cozy and warm on Christmas eve evening, my husband startles like a spooked deer and says, "Santa is Fucked!" I yell out, "Heresey! 15 yards!"

What really struck me was how serious he appeared at first...so I know he was really believing what he was thinking... which was....

"Santa is Fucked!"

Storms in the midwest? What's the problem? I'm wondering. He continues on...

"If these guys are right about the Polar ice cap melting within the next few summers or whatever, Santa is going down with the ice!"

Not to mention the completely real phenomenon of Polar Bears drowning.

I offered that Santa would probably relocate to the South Pole or as far North as possible, Polar Bears probably not so lucky.

Anyway, I suppose some people will need to get to work rewriting the Santa books and Christmas tales. First of all, change every "North" to South and don't leave out the story about when Santa had to abandon the North Pole. Did all the elves make it? The reindeer? What is the cost to Santa to relocate to the other side of the world? Do we need to get the Navy, Coast Guard and Air Force involved? Do we need a giant humanitarian mission to rescue Santa and his workshop?

Put it to your children. What would they say?

Please! We gotta help Santa!

That was a real Christmas Eve bummer. Thank God I remembered that (despite the dried cum in my hair on Christmas morning) Santa isn't real. You know what I mean when I say "real"?... I mean, we all know Santa is real...



Ramblin' India Summer