Grape Smugglers and Banana Hammocks

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Grape Smugglers and Banana Hammocks

Current mood: breezy


A few weeks ago, Prinzzess Felicity Jade and I went to the beach. We wanted to go to a nude beach but the only one we knew of was near San Diego. It was already midday, so we decided to just go to a local beach. It was the weekend, so naturally the beaches were packed. We couldn't get into my fave local beach, so we went to another, more secluded beach in Malibu.


We staked out our section of beach and distilling sunshine we started producing vitamin D.


After a while a guy came walking up sporting a black "grape smuggler" G-string/thong swim suit. I also call them "Banana Hammocks", but there was a lot of saggy-ness and space in the front of that thong, so it really did look more like a grape smuggler. He was smuggling 3 grapes from what I could tell.


He was nice enough, and asked if we would mind if he "pitched his tent" nearby. Probably looking like we just ate a terd sandwich we both tried to smile and act friendly..."yeah sure, no problem."


Prinzzess and I got back to talking, joking and producing vitamin D. We laid out on our beach towels and blanket. Soon, Prinzzess turned to me and said, "He shaves his ass." From my supine position I turned my head over to look at him. Yep, there he was, ass first, shaved or waxed and pointed at Prinzzess, the black grape smuggler flossing his ass crack. Nice. Not so much.


After a little while, a helicopter flew over. I pulled off Prinzzess's bikini top. It was a "forced flashing". Slightly...and I mean only slightly, Prinzzess remarked, "That was a Sheriff's helicopter." I said, "they probably needed and appreciated that." We laughed until we were interrupted by the grape smuggler....."I saw that!...hehe hehe he..." Oh god...a witness!


I said, "You don't tell on us, and we wont report you for smuggling grapes into California. I have to say, by this point, they may have been raisins.



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