Tourists and Young Americans; Stop hiking next to the North Korean and Iranian borders

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Tourists and Young Americans; Stop hiking next to the North Korean and Iranian borders

Current mood: happy

How happy we are that the two girls were released and sent home from North Korea. I saw the updates last night on the news and realized they would be flying back into the country right over me this morning. I didn't see their news conference or statement until late tonight... and naturally, my emotions overwhelmed me and I burst out laughing.

One of the girls was describing... I think it was Laura Ling, (of North Hollywood) how they thought they were going to be transferred to a hard labor camp and that they were then told they were going to a meeting. They were taken to a room and when they walked in they saw "standing before us, President Bill Clinton with the biggest shit-eating grin and boner you've ever seen!".... And then she was thinking...."Oh my God, Bill Clinton did all this just to get a blow job from us, what an asshole!...I would've been an intern for free!" And then she realized it wasn't all an elaborate, well orchestrated sexual kidnapping in order to get a blowjob for Bubba from a couple of hot asian girls, away from the watchful eyes of Hillary.

Laura realized it, but she was so freakin happy, she gave Bill a sloppy hummer anyway. Bill Clinton! The man! Swoops in, rescues two asian hotties and probably has a nasty 3 way on the personal jet all the way back to Burbank. Fuckin' A. God I wish I could direct this movie.

As happy as I am (listen to me whistle "zippity doo-dah" out of my butt) I have a hard time getting emotionally invested in young American citizens who are dumb enough to "accidently" hike into North Korea or Iran.

You know what I would think if I was Iranian or North Korean security? "Tourist my ass, reporter my ass, you are f'ing CIA!" Then I'd kill you or use you as a bargaining chip.

I don't want to be that mean, I'm not sure if I could be, so I choose to do porn instead of national security. If I feel mean, I can do BDSM and be the Dom or just be really bitchy and cruel to my spouse.


PSA: Parent's, Please keep your children away from the borders of countries that are convinced we are about to invade them. Please, please stop leaving your adult children unattended near international borders.

Please copy that and give it to all the parents you know who have children that like to hike near hostile international borders.

©India Summer