Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Popsickle Donations, Petit Fours and Prayers
Current mood: breezy
Groovy Day! (That is the new "Good Day" in the parlance of my mind)
My ass is squeaky clean right now. It's so clean that if you put a popsickle up it, I could tell you what flavor it is.
I am doing something I've never done before. I'm doing back to back days of posterior entrance scenes. It's cool, I'm down with that, but I would like to take this opportunity to solicit Popsickle Donations.
After my posterior penetration today, I'll just "pop in" (that's why they call it pop-sickle) a popsickle and in no time my burning anus will feel sweet, tasty, cool relief. The swelling will be brought down and I'll be ready for tomorrow.
As for the flavor donations...I like Orange,Cherry,Banana, the really blue FAKE blueberry ones (not the real fruit, purple-blueberry popsickles) and those rare Lemon-Lime ones from Mrs.Puckerbutt. Mrs.Puckerbutt's Buttfucker's sour popsickle relief!
NO BOMB POPS! At least not for my bungholio.
Now that we have that out of the way, how about a Spiritual Petit Four...
HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO FIND FAULT WITH THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF FINDING FAULT WITH OTHERS
And now my morning prayers;
Good God! Please grant me the wisdom to understand you, and to continue to work for you in your Mysterious Ways Department. Thank you for everything, especially the furry little creatures that I find so cute and delicious. And not meaning to sound greedy, I was wondering if you could just help my boobs grow a little bit bigger. I know I've been nagging you for some time about it but there's a lot of social pressure to conform and I wish I had bigger milk jugs. Please help me to grow greater, bigger milk jugs for the sustanence of your people. I promise I'll be really good and never do anything bad that doesn't feel good for the other person. I promise.
Also, someone told me that your son, Jesus, is in love with me. They tell me "Jesus the son of God loves you" If he wants to go out on a date, just have him call me. I'm in an open relationship...it's totally cool! Tell him that he should bring the wine because I hear he can get it for free.
Love,
Your little drop of dew
©India Summer (Agent India Summer, Dept. of Mysterious Ways)
Memo to GOD
ReplyDeleteFrom the office of: Your Son
Re: Agent India Summer, Dept. of Mysterious Ways current prayer request.
Sir, while we appreciate that the final decision rest with your office, it is our firm belief that this request be denied. Agent Summers prayer was discussed at this morning’s Female design department team meeting, (Yours truly, on behalf of this office, Archangel Michael, Breast dept., Archangel Raphael, Ass dept. and Archangel Gabriel, Legs dept. in attendance), and it is our firm belief that Agent Summers current allocation of assets falls well within the acceptable tolerances of the "Female Perfection" design category.
As you well know your son has a tendency to overindulge over the period on his birthday and is currently recuperating, We understand he is somewhere in Key West, disguised as an aging hippy. I have added Agent Summers request for a personal appearance to the list for his consideration.
Finally, please authorize the attached expense claim for a box of assorted Popsicles to be express delivered with the compliments of this office.
Regards
J Smith, Executive Assistant.